Martin Short was recently a guest on the Ted Danson and Woody Harrelson podcast and near the end of the conversation Ted Danson says he is turning 76 and is about to start working with Mike Shore who created The Good Place and he wants to see what it feels like to be funny at 76. Martin Short, who is 74, agreed with him on this perspective— agesim is being challenged but there are still many limits being put upon those in entertainment who are supposedly past their prime.
When I was heading towards my late 40s, and into an almost ten year decade away from on-camera sex work, I pondered what it would feel like to do this work at my age and beyond. Yes, ageism is being challenged in XXX but there are also preconceived notions about what beauty and sexiness should look like over 40 and 50. I wondered if I could disrupt this, challenge this.
I felt strongly when I got my start in the late 1990s that porn performance was not just for what the mainstream studio scene told us it should be. I was excited that the internet meant porn could be made and sold outside of the studio system. But more than that, having the means of productions and distribution in our hands meant “ordinary people” could be the stars of their own porn. That turned me on big time.
This was the appeal of our content— who we were and what we looked like. We were rather natural and ordinary in many ways. Few of us (especially when we started) had breast implants, liposuction, tummy tucks, or labiaplasty (botox and filler weren’t yet on the market). We truly looked like we were a PTA mom, bank teller, or your co-worker at the office living a secret swinger life because we were.
I have journal entries from back then and when I reread them it is clear I felt very empowered earning a living making porn being myself without surgical interventions.
I know I was slim and had facial features that met the beauty standards of the day but I didn’t look like anyone in VHS porn, Playboy, Hustler and the like.
Fast forward to the 2010s and MILF/housewife themed content was firmly established in mainstream xxx in part because of the amateur and independent sites featuring women over 30 that were so popular in the 2000s.
However, the look of naturally aging bodies didn’t make the transition. Perhaps this is because of the popularity of the cosmetically and surgically augmented look of porn stars blended with the look of Hollywood, Reality TV stars, and social media influencers and trickled down to the average middle aged woman.
I’m not saying performers with this look shouldn’t be in porn. There is more than looks that make a porn star. So many have arousing enthusiasm for performative sex, talent to be tell stories (especially in some very silly scenarios), and the ability to connect with scene partners in ways that just ooze with chemistry under challenging shooting situations. This is so important and why we tend to see the same performers in so many scenes— they are reliable professionals.
But when I look at who is cast as MILFs, step-mothers, and women in authority the look is quite uniform. The look rarely includes faces, hair, and bodies without augmentation (lip and cheek filler, hair extensions, breast implants and gluteal fat grafting also known as a Brazilian Butt Lift). If they do have natural breasts they are very large. None of this is my look nor the look of many women in midlife.
Just as I did in my early years in independent amateur porn I’m using my platform to document and share my sexuality and my body as a counterpoint to the mainstream. I think doing so is important.
PS Live cam platforms and clips sites have performers and creators with much more diverse looks which I’m thankful for and why I focus on them for my work. Still, that doesn’t mean more mainstream content might not want to consider opening up their aesthetic and possibly move the needle on what makes a mature woman sexy and powerful.